Tuesday, October 23, 2018

Solomon-Michael James Buckout!!

Better late than never!

Because I choose to use instagram for announcing Solomons birth, he never quite got the blog announcement!

Solomon-Michael James was born at 9:50pm on his big brother Michaels birthday. Born at 38 weeks he already weighed 8lbs 9oz and was 22 inches long! :D

Solomon is already almost 4 months old and you can keep up with this precious boy and all our love for him @babyjuly2018 . God had one more baby in store for us and I am so thankful!!

Friday, May 25, 2018

A Beautiful Eastern Legend

A Hindoo woman, the beautiful Eastern legend tells us, lost her only child. Wild with grief, she implored teacher to give her back her little one to love her. 

He looked at her for a long while tenderly, and said, "Go, my daughter, bring me a handful of rice from a house into which Death has never entered , and I will do as thou desirest." 

The woman at once began her search. She went from dwelling to dwelling, asking if there were members of the home missing. Far and wide she wandered but there was always a vacant seat by the hearth. 

Gradually the waves of her grief subsided before the spectacle of sorrow everywhere, and her heart, ceasing to be occupied with its own pangs, flowed out in strong yearning sympathy with the universal suffering. 

Tears of anguish softened to pity, passion melted away in compassion, she forgot herself in the general interest, and found redemptions in redeeming. 

"Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others." ~Philippians 2:4

(excerpt from Consolation, Chase E Cowman.)

God is moving. I am learning. I not here yet. I want to be. I desire not to grieve and give to others, but there is no special formula from its beginning to end. My brother. My father. My child. Each one has been a different experience, but it has changed me. It has made me question the truthfulness of my compassion and ministry to others because frankly it is now hard. I am selfish.

Others may think, because I am pregnant, that I have moved on from my sorrow. Now she is happy.
I can assure you over these past weeks, the weight and pain of carrying Solomon has brought my sorrow to the threshold again. After nine full term pregnancies, my body hurts. It hurts physically which reminds me of the many many tears I shed EVEN before Michael was even in my arms. Then to deal emotionally with all that happened can crush me. I have to be intentional to love and serve my family. 

Not to mention, I will have the hurdle of labor and birth. 

Then, I feel those condemning voices that it is my fault I had another child so soon. Don't judge. 

I am praying for a spiritual breakthrough these next 50 days. I am being vulnerable and asking for prayer.  I long to be at the spot this Hindoo woman was... or where Jesus was the night he was seized, serving his disciples. I am mad because I see my weakness. I know my Saviour sees, but my sin is disgusting. He can deliver me out of all my troubles. He is mighty to save.  He can quiet me with his love. 

Monday, February 26, 2018

Oh, His Deep LOVE for our Precious Michael!

These words are so true for those little ones born sleeping. They rest in His arms now and forever. They never took a breath, but now breathe the air of eternity with Jesus.

It is an honor and privilege to be Michael's Mommy. To hold in my womb for nine beautiful months. Through pain, giving birth to such a beautiful child. As much as it hurts, I have to remember he IS without pain, sorrow, and (somehow I understand)---He is happy.

Before I spoke a word, You were singing over me
You have been so, so good to me
Before I took a breath, You breathed Your life in me
You have been so, so kind to me

Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God
Oh, it chases me down, fights 'til I'm found, leaves the ninety-nine
I couldn't earn it, and I don't deserve it, 
still, You give Yourself away
Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God

Thank you dear God, for my precious boy Michael. Thank you for Baby Solomon. May your mercy, peace and love abound. Heal our broken hearts. By your strength and faith. We will wait on you and not be shaken... Amen.

Monday, February 12, 2018

Seasons Change -- His Love Remains (& It's a BOY!)

Sean shared this song with me a few weeks ago.
We both have been touched by it deeply... may His spirit speak to you as seasons change in your life.

PS. Can I please just go to one worship service like this?! In heaven for sure!

"There was one when I was young 
Who knew my heart
He knew my sorrow
He held my hand
And he lead me to trust him

Now I am hidden
In the safety of your love
I trust your heart and your intentions
Trust you completely
I’m listening intently
You’ll guide me through these many shadows

As I grow
And as I change
May I love you more deeply
I will lean upon your grace
I will weep because your goodness is unending. 

You are my vision
My reason for living
Your kindness leads me to repentance
I can’t explain it
This sweet assurance
But I’ve never known this kind of friend
I can’t explain it
This sweet assurance
But I’ve never known this kind of friend

The sun, moon, and stars
Shout your name
They give you reverence
And I will do the same
With all my heart I give you glory
The sun, moon, and stars
Shout your name 
They give you reverence
And I will do the same
With all my heart I give you glory

I want to seek you first
I want to love you more
I want to give you the honor you deserve
So I bow before you
I am overcome by the beauty of this perfect love."

Its a BOY!! Posted this precious boy on our instagram about a week ago :)
God is using Mikey in more ways than we'll ever know. Praying for his little brother Solomon everyday. The seasons of this year are so similar to last, yet so different.

Thursday, December 7, 2017

Announcing Baby #9. Be still my soul.

Officially announced this precious little life on our Instagram acct today, which you can read below.

If you would like to follow any of our accounts please do:

Our Family @buckoutfam
Our Little Michael James @babyjuly2017
Lord willing our newest one @babyjuly2018

Greatly appreciate your prayers for this new little life!

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

Thursday, November 16, 2017

The ESV Illuminated Bible {Review & Giveaway}

After loosing Michael, reading the bible was very slow going. I could only read support books, a devotional, and my daughters scripture cards the weeks following Michael death. Yet, thankfully am finally back to daily readings. This Bible was a special gift for a new season.

I've had my old bible for 20 years, so to open a new one up daily was a new beginning for me. I needed it. I started in Genesis and also am rereading Revelation. I am the type of person that has to underline and make personal notes in my bible. This Illuminated Bible has worked out perfect because the margins are WIDE. 

I don't use mine for art, but I do know Bible verse journaling as become a hobby for many.  I am not too sure if markers would hold up on these pages but definitely colored pencils would. I personally have only used pencil so far because the bible is so clean and pretty! :) Each book has its own personal cover artwork all in gold lettering too. I especially like that it is ONLY the Bible. There are no study notes or themed devotionals throughout. Only gold lettered scripture art. This version is a Hardback with a slide in book jacket. I love it. See ALL the details below. 

(Note: The only downfall for me--- I really like the New King James Version. From what I have heard though it is the most similar.) 

Good news, I get to offer it to one of my readers! 

PLEASE comment below if you'd like to win one for FREE :)
Giveaway will end in one week on November 23rd.
Open to ONLY continental U.S. residence please.
Purchase Yours HERE.



The ESV Illuminated Bible places the full ESV text alongside over 500 elegantly hand-lettered gold ink illustrations by renowned artist Dana Tanamachi. Printed on thick cream-colored paper, the
Bible's single-column text setting and wide margins provide generous space for additional notes, prayers, and designs—inviting readers to creatively engage with and reflect on the beauty of God's

• 9-point, Lexicon
• Black letter text
• 2-color printing
• 64 full-page, custom book opener illustrations
• 50 full-page verse illustrations
• 250+ hand-lettered margin verses
• 100+ other illustrations throughout
• Illustrated by Dana Tanamachi, whose work has been
featured by Google, The Wall Street Journal, Random House,
USPS, and Target
• Thick, cream-colored paper
• Wide margins
• Single-column, paragraph format
• Smyth-sewn binding
• Packaging: Permanent Slipcase
• Dana Tanamachi is an American lettering artist, graphic
designer, and illustrator whose exquisite typographic murals
ignited the worldwide chalk-lettering trend.  She has been
commissioned by clients such as Instagram, Target, Google,
Time Magazine, Nike, and West Elm. Learn more
at tanamachistudio.com.

In Christ alone I stand,

Thursday, October 26, 2017

Just your average, "I am still alive" post

Well, I finally felt the need to let you know I am still alive. Even had a birthday. I am 38 years old.

It's strange, but refreshing not to have facebook. If some reason, you are a friend I have not seen in 5-20 years and you are wondering--- I am ok.

I recently went on a retreat. A small cabin in autumn wooded beauty. I saw snow. I saw brilliant colored leaves. More importantly I was with a beautiful friend. I will be ever thankful for the time she took with me. (xo)

I was able to open my wound again... let it feel the healing air it needed and patched it up again, by the grace of God. Our time was raw. It was real. We laughed. We cried.  We enjoyed yummy food. :)

God knew I would need that special little retreat because it was there, I painfully miscarried another early pregnancy. Sean and I were so delighted three weeks prior and announced it immediately to our close family and a few friends. The sweet baby blueberry may have only been 7 weeks, but it was life. For that I am thankful.

The loss of life, put me incomplete surrender yet again. Again, into the loving hands of My Father. It has quieted me heart. Maybe I am just numb by grief and many times without understanding. My life and times are in His hands, not mine.

In regards to being pregnant so soon---Please don't bother telling me "I should give my body time to heal". Obviously I cannot make something happen a certain way or in my time. Otherwise my four month old baby boy would be in my arms breathing. Smiling and looking into my eyes. It is not in my power to do so.

At the end of my little getaway, I got an amazing tattoo in honor of Michael James. It hurt like hell, but means so much to me. I love that boy. I was standing in the airport waiting for my plane literally worshiping God (via YouTube) for being my strength through so much pain. He is my firm foundation. I will put my trust in Him alone. In God I will not be shaken.

He is in control. Casting out all fear. My hope will always be His promises to me..

He is my Father, I do not wonder
If His plans for me are good
If He'll come through like He should
'Cause He is provision and enough wisdom
To usher in my brightest days
To turn my mourning into praise
He's not just reviving
Not simply restoring
Greater things have yet to come
Greater things have yet to come

I am who He says I am
He is who He says He is
I'm defined by all His promises
Shaped by every word He says
Oh I am who He says I am
He is who He says He is
I'm defined by all His promises
Shaped by every word He says..

These are the two songs rocked me to my core as I worked tonight and actually prompted me to write this blog.

ONLY because of my Jesus. grace and peace,


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