Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Catfish and Facebook

A few weeks ago Sean and I watched the movie Catfish.  It has prompted me to think a little more about the entire Facebook / modern chat-world.  Watch the trailer here. Caution: Use you own discretion, I am not saying you are going to love it. It is VERY thought provoking. When the internet first started, chat rooms were cool and then before long they just got plain scary because of all the evil.  Anyways..

I cancelled my own FB account about 6 months ago and joined my husband. Then, slowly stopped posting "status updates" and then I just used it to share my blog posts. Just recently, we quit it all together (Reality: all I have to do is enter our email and password and there it is again like I never left...weird. It can never be deleted.) My blog in itself as become my way of sharing with our friends. (which someday will eventually fade too).  

I did not cancel FB because of the movie, but I needed a good self discipline break.  Sean was cool with it. FB had become a habit.. even when nursing, just to see what is happening with "status updates".  Its IS hard choice because I do have some really good girlfriends that I only connect with on facebook. But really is it...
Do I really need to know what people are doing that I haven't seen in ten years plus???

or see they have "checked in" at (esp at Walmart)???

or see pictures of family that I have never met???

will people be offended if I don't accept them as a friend?
or delete them?

will they ever know?!

Doesn't is seem like a pretend way to have friendship with others
without even having a conversation with them? 

Then, there is also the judgement trap: "Oh my! they watch that show!" "They did that!!?" "Ouch. please don't say such words on the news feed."  Then one can become a Busybody (this is my BIGGEST beef with FB)! (1 Peter 4:15)  I have even had a run-in with a dear sister in the Lord because I didn't agree with what she said (yes, I did say something and don't regret it). We have reconciled, but it was not easy. Honestly the lack of depth of friendship makes me sad in the FB world.... must have been the same with telephones were invented! People were shocked with the annoying ring, and why not just write a letter or visit someone?

So, the movie brought out the reality that people are lonely creatures. We want someone to love. We want to be needed. Sometimes as mom's we just want to feel connected to another adult. We are poured out and empty. (Read this article about Facebook and marital affairs! It is written to Dads, but worth reading.) Without Jesus, many go to great lengths to be loved :(  Perhaps just clicking away on FB will fill our heart. The computer can be like a magnet sucking us in... Don't get me wrong! I am not condemning the enjoying of Facebook, just questioning the need or overuse of it in my own life.  Maybe you will be stirred in the same manner.

Being in ministry off and on for ten years, Sean and I know many many people. The truth: we have very few real friends. Someone once told us "they had to accept that ministry was a lonely life." Yes, that may shock you. Many people know you in the ministry, but do you know them??? Facebook doesn't help. {{{{Deep Breath}}}}  I want real friends. I want rich fellowship. I want those who understand me.  Praise the Lord for Jesus.... Praise the Lord for my husband.... They both will be my BFFs ;)

This may is probably my most opinionated blog ever (I even added a 'thought' label.) Sorry! To my few dear friends who really know me: Please keep in touch. Please call me on the phone (even if its just a voicemail.. Homeschool moms often have to ignore the phone). You have my email too...and my blog..

Our "Facebook Fast" might just be longer than expected... I hope.

Your thoughts?

In Christ,


  1. my thoughts are really an echo of your own, friend! i like to think i redeem facebook with scripture posts, sharing photos with grands, you know "good stuff". sadly, it really can just be a huge time waster and just plain stupid. i have been contemplating taking a break, now may be the time!
    have a great weekend!

  2. I totally get what you are saying, JuRita! I had to make a few FB rules, myself. It came to the point where my daily schedule started out feeding the boys breakfast followed by checking FB; then I felt deeply convicted about my morning devotion. (IF I actually got around to it!!) What!? FB before God's Word?? For me, it was not okay.

    I also like the comparison you made with what people may have thought when the telephone came out. I think technology can definitely be used for great things, but there has to be a healthy balance with using them according to the values of your family life. Like, do I want my children to have more memories of me staring at a computer (they're sleeping right now!) or of me playing with them, teaching them, or reading His Word? One word comes to mind: Distraction!

    Anyway, I love how your sweet heart is so sensitive to what the Lord may be speaking/teaching you. :)

  3. Your post really touched a chord with me. I've been thinking lately about how isolated our lives have become, and that we are not made to live like this. Especially since having children, it sometimes hits me that this is not the way we are meant to be as parents. Great, thought provoking post.

  4. Thank you friends.. I wasn't too sure what type of reaction I would get from a post like this. Hopefully more positive than negative. Each of you made VERY good points.. amen sisters! :) Blessings and Love...



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