Friday, January 27, 2012

Homeschool "Too Many Hats"

The blog title comes from a devotional I read in 101 Devotions for Homeschool Moms.

She speaks of our roles expanding "exponentially" the more kids we have. Last week and the beginning of this week, were very hard days for me.  I have lost motivation to plan and teach my kids. Since August they probably have done about 3 weeks of "homeschool".  After trying to pick of the pieces and "restart" again, I felt has if I was sinking/ drowning (whatever you want to call it) and barley able to keep my head above water.  

I CAN'T homeschool 4 different grades while being 9 months pregnant and stay sain in the the process. I will spare you my drama story. I love teaching and it would be so easy if all my "students" where at the same level but they are not. 

So, back to considering public school I went. At least for the next 6 months wouldn't be so bad! I could teach Jason at home and prayerfully get the other kids at school by 8:15am. I opened my struggle slightly on Facebook and was very encouraged by many comments. The only sad thing was... besides two precious homeschool moms, those encouraging me were parents whose kids are public school (or those who have done both!) :-) Maybe those that homeschool think I was committing the "ultimate sin"! 
Just kidding. Either way I just found it interesting. I was blessed by the support.

So where did I land this time???

Sean and I had a REALLY good conversation about our family. And I mean GOOD. We realized with all of the moving our "vision" was lacking. God always puts me in position of complete weakness, when Sean realizes he better get his act together or it is not going to look good. This Mama was falling apart!! 

Sean shared with me (and the kids) his goals for our family. One, in which, was our children to be homeschooled. Was I upset? No. But, he realized I needed more support and help. 

NOTE: I have a friend who very much desired to homeschool and her husband did not approve. At the time I thought it was sad, but I have seen her heart to submit and honor him. They have been a very blessed family. The Lord has always used her as an example for me to follow.

This week Sean stepped up to the plate.. more than I could ever imagined! He sat down each child separately for a little "conference". He had an age appropriate check list for "what the should know" by their grade level. It should have been recorded. Their answers were adorable! 

Every morning this week he made a list (not scheduled by time) but things he wanted the kids to accomplish. Scheduled math time, certain books to read, different task with different siblings, certain things to look up on the computer, bible time or coloring....

Thank you Lord! In this season, the need was HUGE. I can say.. "Dad wants you to" or "lets finish before Dad comes home".  I also wrote down notes for him to read on how our day went. (what worked, what didn't , disciplinary moments, positive moments, ect.) He also has been correcting their math assignments every evening.

I know I am not alone. I love my husband. I love that he is aware of their education. His support means the world to me. Day by day.. by Gods grace.
my man

If you are interested in the devotional book, I am going to add it to my "Books I love" tab, but here is the link. This is my third time reading it ;-)


  1. This is sort of what had to happen here for our oldest, next will be the two big boys as they have followed their brother in thinking they don't need to do school anymore. It can really be very hard! I am glad you guys are finding a way through and that Sean is stepping in there for you. I don't know how Moms do it without help from their husbands. I would be a complete wreck instead of just on my way to being one. :-)

  2. I think that is so great that your husband is supporting you. I feel the same way with only teaching 3 grade levels and no baby on the way. I did find your encouragement comment interesting. I think I always want to be sensitive to whatever the Lord has for each family and not be judgmental of that. I pray about private/public school every year and so far God has not given us a green light.

  3. Awesome. What an amazing testimony of making your needs known and then "stepping back" rather than nagging. Your husband is truly blessed to have a wife who allows him to lead in that way!
    Here I am expecting my first, so obviously I cannot speak from personal experience... But having been homeschooled and having a close friend who has 6 children - all homeschooled - I can tell you that your children are learning even when they aren't doing traditional "schooling." Don't feel that your time during the move has been "wasted" or ill-used. They learn much more than you realize from the teachable moments each day.
    Excited to see how God continues to work in your family! Baby Mordecai will be here soon! Blessings...

  4. Oh JuRita I missed your post about this! I had an emotional breakdown with Darius about a week ago. Same stuff you wrote about. I feel sick, house is constantly a wreck, kids fighting and who knows what's for dinner!!! Anyway Darius also has helped me by giving me vision. He was quite frank with me and at first I was hurt. He told me I lacked vision. He told me I do what I do because I feel it is the right thing to do but I lacked a vision behind it. I thought about it for a while and realized he was right. He told me that "doing the right thing" won't get me through days where the whole house is falling down around me. He said I have to see down the road when they are adults. Where are you taking them? Where in life do you want them to be and how is what you are doing right now going to get them there? He also pointed out that even though we have done "school" three times since the beginning of Dec they are learning! Life is a classroom and I am trying to embrace his vision of that. He strongly believes that a day building the barn or changing the oil in thr is of more value than a week of bookwork. I am with you on this JuRita! We CAN do this with our husband's leadership and the LORD!

  5. I remember Charlene Hall telling me how hard it was for her when Kevin went back to work and the "principal" was no longer there to support her in homeschooling like he had. Her kids are older now and I think they've moved to an online system where she's not doing the brunt of the teaching anymore. Yes, I have talked to other moms from Calvary with kids in public school, and we all feel there is too big a rift between the homeschooling "clique" and the others...and even within the homeschooling group, there seems to be a lot of insecurity and comparing, etc. We all need to honor the choices God is leading each of us to make! I am glad you are following where God is leading you, even though obviously that is not the easier path.

  6. What an awesome husband you have!!

  7. JuRita, dear friend. this blessed me! thanks for sharing this testimony of serving in love to each other and to the family!

    love you and always praying xo

  8. My husband has alwyas been critical of my homeschooling and suspicious it isn't happening. Only when textbooks and workbooks are used does he think the kids are learning what they need to know. Then he's proud of me and them. But at times he proceeds to "test" the kids, asking questions they can't answer. For example, if they learned the names of the planets he might ask what gods they were named after- even though that wasn't in our lesson today.So the kids are deflated. When I talk to him about it later, he says things like "I just would have thought they'd know that." That sort of thing- I take it personally- he's saying I should have taught them that. So there's only bits of pride from him. He told me he thinks math is the most important subject- and being popular is a vital key to success. By success he means making lots of money esp by engineering or something up that alley. Math is one daughter's chief areas of weakness so this means he doesn't value the things she's good at- which aren't academic things. In fact, she's no superstar at anything, and that's fine with me- if she follows Jesus and works hard she'll do fine in this life and inexpressibly wonderfully in the next. I had this same daughter tested and she did well on the CAT basic skills, but poorly on other tests, and seems very unhappy with any type of textbook/ workbook situation. She needs to work very hard to retain information. Her interests are in the arts- singing, plays, knitting etc. I've connected her to those things in the community and she's always happy at those times.I've tried many approaches/curriculum with the academics-know her learning style, all that. I think I'm a horrible homeschooler- we do a lot some days (textbook stuff) but most days get a little here and a little there done. I got excellent programs and don't even use the IEW or the All about Spelling b/c I found there was so much time and effort for ME to prepare. So- in summary- I think I'm a failure and my husband does too but he says he's supportive of homeschooling and he doesn't think I'm a failure. But beleive me, he does and he only says this when I cry. I can never ask for help because I need to pretend we're doing great witht he academics or else I willhave confirmed all of his suspicions. He has just begun to love Jesus and still doesn't recognize virtue is a more important goal than money. I told my oldest she could go to school. Now, I regret saying that- but she's miserable, depressed, a highly anxious learner, perfectionistic but her work falls far below perfection so she's constantly upset and calling herself stupid. I feel I can't take this with just criticism from my husband which mirrors my self criticism. Thank you for listening and any advice would be greatly appreciated. I moved to OH a year and a half ago and although we have many HS acquaintances, it's very hard to make real friends. I do my best to arrange for my kids to get together with kids who they think of as friends. The mothers of those "friends" don't seem to want to invite us over or make any effort to get together. I have no friends. The kids do have several who like them a lot but as I said, I have to work very hard to make playdates. Everyone says they're busy or swamped and they'll get back to me later. But they don't. Yet they seem to like me when I see them. I don't know why I'm going on and on about freinds but partly it's because I have to dump all this on this blog instead of calling a friend.I have no support. Jesus is wonderful and when I hit rock bottom like this, he does carry me. I still don't know if I should continue homeschooling though. When I read how supportive all your husbands are, I wished it were the same here. Can anyone give me advice?



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