Thursday, April 5, 2012

I Snapped.

My attitude has been poor lately. Very poor. It may be that I am cooped up with my kids, weary of disciplining them, being the "referee", doing laundry, washing dishes, and trying to homeschool..ect ect.
----I am bitter just writing it down----

I snapped yesterday afternoon when I opened our homeschool cupboard.
Can't they put things back in order?
Why is a teaspoon and glass cup in the drawer? ( I had to demonstrate how many steps it acutally took to put it in the kitchen sink...12!! in our tiny home!!)
Papers, trash, uncapped markers, and junk shoved in drawers! Come on!!??

And yes, these thoughts were not just in my head. They were verbel, unkind, and very loud words to my children.

I cannot "quit" my job-- yet I want to!!! At least yesterday I did.

Lord, forgive me for looking at others.. again. comparing never helps my spirit. 
How can I expect my children to respect me when I treat them in such a manner? God help me. [I don't want ANYONE to suppose this family as it all together]

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Matthew 11:28-29

Father, be the lead ox! I am weary and need rest for my soul. Refresh my heart- I want to desire You and Your word. Let me not fill it temporarily with the world. Let me not think, "if I could just.." or "I need.." apart from you. I snapped. Thank you for being a merciful God. 

"I cannot change my circumstances, but also I cannot do all 
that must be done. I keep trying, but it isn't enough. I am 
physically exhausted and mentally drained. 
still keep plugging on. 
It doesn't help too much. 
Only one thing helps--- opening my Bible."
~100 Devotionals for Homeschool Moms

Me at a "better" moment ;-) making spaghetti 
with Hadassah. 
linking up with

1 comment:

  1. this was my day (or should i admit?) week too! never feel alone in this beautiful, wonderful, painful, humbling world of motherhood! love you!



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