God is working in my heart.
I want to resist.
I want to fight Him.
Yet I trust.
There are things I would change, but we know He sees the big picture.
I read this today. I pray you are blessed too.
Streams in the Desert 4.19.12
"Stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord." Exodus 14:13
These words contain God's command to the believer when he is reduced to great straits and brought into extraordinary difficulties. He cannot retreat; he cannot go forward; he is shut upon the right hand and on the left. What is he now to do?
The Master's word to him is "stand still" It will be well for him if, at such times, he listens only to his Master's word, for others and evil advisers come with their suggestions.
Despair whispers, "Lie down and die; give it all up." But God would have us put on a cheerful courage, and even in our worst times, rejoice in His love and faithfulness.
Cowardice says, "Retreat; go back to the worldling's way of action; you cannot play the Christians part; it is too difficult. Relinquish your principles." But, however much Satan may urge this course upon you, you cannot follow it, if you are a child of God. His Divine flat has bid thee go from strength to strength, and so thou shalt, and neither death not hell shall turn the from thy course. What if for a while though art called to stand still; yet this is but to renew thy strength for some greater advance in due time.
Precipitancy (rashness or suddenness of action) cries, "Do something; stir yourself; to stand still and wait is sheer idleness." We must be doing something at once--we must do it, so we think-- instead of looking to the Lord, who will not only do something, but will do everything.
Presumption boasts, "If the sea be before you, march into it, and expect a miracle." But faith listens neither to Presumption, nor to Despair, not to Cowardice, nor to Precipitancy, but hears God say, "Stand Still" and immoveable as a rock it stands.
"Stand still"---keep the posture of an upright man, ready for action, expecting further orders, cheerfully and patiently awaiting the directing voice; and it will not be long ere God shall say to you, as distinctly as Moses said it to the people of Israel, "Go forward"----Spurgeon